Parsha Vayera
Seeing Others, Seeing Ourselves
The Story
In Vayera, Avraham is recovering from his bris, in pain, on the hottest day. Yet when he sees three strangers in the distance, he runs to greet them. He gives up his own comfort to welcome guests he’s never met.
The Mussar Lesson: Chesed
Mussar is the Jewish tradition of working on our middot, our character traits, like exercising a muscle. Avraham’s middah is chesed, kindness. Notice that the Torah says he saw them and then ran. Chesed starts with noticing. Before we can help anyone, we have to look up from what we’re doing and see who needs us.
The Psychology Connection
Psychologists call this empathy: understanding what another person feels. They’ve also found that when we are hurting, we often turn inward and think only about ourselves. Avraham did the opposite. Even in pain, he turned outward, and researchers have found that helping others actually makes us feel better too. Kindness is good for the person giving it as well as the person receiving it.
Try It This Week
- Notice: Each day, look for one person who might need a friend, like someone sitting alone at lunch or looking sad at recess.
- Run: Avraham didn’t wait. Do the kind thing quickly, before the nervous voice in your head talks you out of it.
- Reflect: At night, ask yourself, “How did I feel after I helped?”
Questions for Discussion
K-2: What did Avraham do when he saw the guests? How do you feel when someone is kind to you?
3-5: Why do you think Avraham ran even though he was in pain? What makes it hard to be kind when we’re tired or upset?
6-8: Mussar teaches that we build character through practice, not just good intentions. What’s one small, repeatable habit that could strengthen your chesed?
-Rabbi Dr. David Bauman
